“I am really concerned about what Lee and Bridgewater are reading and watching these days,” Marvelous told me this morning. “Why would you be concerned about what these guys are reading?” I exclaimed. “Because I think they are getting really bad ideas and it could ultimately harm their health in the long run,” Marvelous went on. “Our countries health and prosperity, although important, are not at issue here.”
Because the government trained me to think the way I do (and there fore I have a valid excuse) I wanted more details before agreeing or disagreeing with Marvelous’ assessment. Since the Captain had a prior engagement and didn’t have the patience or time to bring me up to speed, I let him off the hook and went to visit Uncle Tom who is a veritable font of wisdom and knowledge in our neighborhood.
Besides he doesn’t mind reading the paper to me because he knows I haven’t learned braille yet.
Uncle Tom runs a sort of general store with a big pickle barrel set up in the middle. Guys and gals gather around it all day and BS while UT attempts to work. I say attempts because, like the rest of us, he is easily distracted, and he often comments on our conversations as well as bringing up new and interesting things to talk about too. Much like a dog, my ears perk up when UT speaks.
“What do you want me to read you today Captain Bly?” UT asked as I walk into his shop with my Saturday’s Salt Lake Tribune clutched in my left hand. “I think something in the paper caught Captain Marvel’s eye and he’s concerned about Mike Lee and Tom Bridgewater’s health,” I said. “Mental health or physical health?” UT asked quickly (he’s as sharp as a tack). “Could be both I suppose, I didn’t ask,” I offered. “OK, let me see the paper,” Tom said.
“Wow, I think Captain Marvel is right,” Tom began after a moment of reading. “You should see the headlines on the front page, ‘Lee: Have states run Social Security and Senate> Bridgewater wants private accounts; both hopefuls support raising retirement age’,” Tom began to read aloud. “Utah’s Republican Senate candidates have outlined a vision for reforming Social Security that includes raising retirement ages, private accounts and, in Mike Lee’s case, taking the retirement safety net away from the federal government and letting states run it.”
“Are they insane?” I asked. “What bubble have they been living in the last 30-40 years?” “The pretty great state of denial bubble, I’m afraid,” Tom responded. “Hell, the one clown is not even 40 years old.”
Tom was skimming the article now and occasionally making comments. “Listen to this, Lee wants to raise the retirement age to 77 for workers who are 47 years old today.” “I needed both wrists fused the last few years because of my years of manual labor, where would that leave a fella like me?” I asked. “At the mercy of the market I suppose,” Tom answered. “That’s not very comforting,” I said. “I don’t know about you but what little money I have in stocks now wouldn’t help out much, I am living off of my social security now.”
“Where do these yokels get their ideas,” I asked. “I suspect at places like Human Events, Daily News, Ann Coulter or Glenn Beck websites,” UT replied. “Just yesterday I read one Human Events email that “suggested” that with a 23 cent nutrient you could reverse 50 years of arterial plaque buildup, remove “rogue” calcium deposits, avoid a heart or brain event that could ruin your life and keep your arteries as clean as a whistle.” “The next email was once again all about how to make money out of thin air-how to cash in on the global sell off and tripling your money on call options every few weeks,” Tom stopped.
“I think I see Marvelous’s point, “ I began. “So if I bought the miracle drug they are shilling and “invested” in call options I wouldn’t have to worry about social security because I would live to be 100 and be filthy rich besides.” “Those ideas have been discredited for years,” I mused. “Had these things been true I wouldn’t have needed a double bypass last year and I could go on eating BBQ ribs and pork rinds the rest of my life in Happy Valley.”
These Lee and Bridgewater characters are like watching the “Honeymooners” on bad acid with the exception these guys are in living color (pink mostly). Is it possible that these right wing wacko sites they are getting their ideas from are using “subliminal” messaging much like the Beatles and Rolling Stones did back in the 60’s?
“Tweedle dee and twiddle dum, I fidget and I squirm around,” and once again these two clowns put their respective foot in their respective mouths. What a choice Utah voters have this year. You would think they would have learned from last week’s fiasco where they lobbied for the resumption of nuclear testing in Utah’s backyard.