Things were looking pretty bleak for comedians, talk show hosts, Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart and the Nielsen ratings when George Jr. left office. A huge source of their material dried up overnight. George, as his friends call him, slithered quietly away from Washington in order to provide for a smooth transition of power. Dick is still rattling his cage bars and Karl is over making trouble at FOX but good old junior, more or less, slipped into that good night.
Of did he. I think I have discovered what our esteemed former president is up to after leading us into two delightful wars, starving the beast, taking on the junk scientists and getting our nation closer to the Chinese.
The way I see it he could be doing one of two things. First, is it possible George had a sex-change operation, had the real Sarah Palin taken out and now he is on the motivational speaking circuit impersonating the former ex Governor of Alaska? I mean they had pretty much talked the same talk and they both had that same folksy, I feel it in my gut repartee delivery style going on.
Unless someone is photoshopping a lot of pictures, have we ever seen the two of them together recently? On top of that the two of them have that same “deer in the headlights,” response when confronted by their evil detractors. Can’t answer the question-just put on the charm, evade the question or simply not answer the questions. Winking is a sly way to make contact with your true believers and I’m sure George would have no trouble picking that affective mannerism up.
As tempting as it is to believe the above scenario, I think there is a more plausible explanation for what George is up to these days. We know he is not really a working kind of guy because, don’t you remember that wonderful book about him with his picture on the cover? He was pretending to be clearing the nasty brush from his ranch property, except his leather gloves were brand new! Nice try.
So now I think he is blogging! To his credit he does seem to know how to type but his style, grammar and spelling errors suggest that Dick is no longer looking over his shoulder and helping with the spell check feature of the word processing program.
Besides the obvious errors, junior is inventing wonderful new words for our language. Now here is an area that he is really excelling at. Someone should tap him for a “word of the day,” mass emailing.
I have offered to send him my “Chicago Manual of Style” book and a new dictionary but he will not send me his snail mail address because he is so busy typing and my emails usually get sent to his junk folder.
But I have to hand it to George he is already all over the map. In this way he can visit all the countries he did not visit while he was in office (or before for that matter) like Africa, AfIraqistan, and Antarctica.
Junior is the modern day equivalent of “Where’s Waldo,” but in cyberspace instead. His wealth and breath of knowledge (you have got to love Yale for that) of disparate subjects is truly impressive. One day it is nuclear weapons, the next day oil and gas exploration in the Gulf of Mexico, finance, health care reform, constitutional rights or his love of the environment.
All his good work must be getting on Laura’s nerves though. He is spending so much time on the computer she is not getting the attention that she deserves. I can hear her from Salt Lake City: “George get off that damn computer and take out the trash!”
While he is outside he should linger awhile longer in the sunlight. As much as he is writing I am sure he is not getting enough vitamin D. Maybe when I send him the books I could also slip him some vitamin D pills so he would not have to go out so much.